Insanity’s children, one and all, “born” only to take the fall, forever dancing with the wrecking ball, and so you call, with whispered screams, burn within bleeding dreams, nothing is ever what it seems, it always is worse…                                                                                        

In addition to having written fifteen self-published books, I also previously was the grand master of the, “Happy Times Parade”. Of course, during the first procession of it, I did curse out all the other members of the parade entourage and berate them for not seeing that life was just an empty, meaningless, void of hellish nothingness. Doing so while drunk off my ass. I got fired. And so I moved on from this, deciding to see it as an experience I could learn from as I continued my journey along the gift that is life. My next job? Grand master of the, “Loving Life And Doing It All The While With A Smile Parade”. I, ah, got fired again when I cursed out all the other members of the parade entourage and berated them for not seeing that life was just an empty, meaningless, void of hellish nothingness, um, while drunk off my ass. O.K., time out, wait, why in hell am I being hired as grand master of all these freakin parades? I mean, it's not like I went to parade leader school, for Christ sake. I did attend both barber and clown colleges. I did flunk out of barber college, probably not necessary to mention once I reveal I cut my own hair, but I did graduate clown college, Dumbass Dumb Wowdy with a moron clown degree. Um, looking back at that, I really begin to wonder if that was an actual, legitimate degree. What the hell. My next two jobs were as the grand master of the, “I Love Life, Life Is Good Parade”, and then grand master of the, “Life It Makes You Want To Laugh, Please Don't Cut Yourself In Half, Because If You Do, I Will Have To Happily Sew Back Together You Parade”. Oh Jesus Ganesh. You know, I really am starting to believe, that in a world of seemingly unbridled stupidity, parade organizers take the crown. So take it and wear it during your next march of inane frivolity, I won't take the job! Um, kind of got fired from both those jobs as well. At which point, I started to write. I did so, so that I might spread the wonder and glory that is life and instill within all who read the words, hope that tomorrow will unquestionably be better than today.

Not entirely sure I’m doing a particularly good job at that as evidenced by this biography. Oh well, guess I could always just go back to barber college. Could actually use a haircut anyway. Or, maybe I’ll just go back to clown college. Because smiling and laughing, isn’t that what life is truly about? And if you look around at it all, really now, how can you not?

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