I am proud to announce that I have restarted my presidential campaign that I previously had suspended. You see, it became clear to me that what has the voters so enthusiastic and is even winning over politicians themselves to the respective sides the message is coming from is merely the message itself. Therefore, my fiscal policies which would undoubtedly create an economic depression that would make the great depression cry, curled up in a fetal position, because it now realizes it is an itty, bitty worthless depression, outright nuclear holocaust that would incinerate the entire planet and an outright uprising by the populous against the government so that every facet of the government completely collapses and the stone age cries, curled up in a fetal position because it now realizes it was only an itty, bitty, tin foil age, um, this happening of course before nuclear winter forces the remaining one thousand or so of the entire earth’s human population to dwell underground, mutating because of this so that in actuality the human race ceases to exist and is thus replaced by a species of ogre like creatures whose legs protrude from the top of their heads and have IQ’s that max out at 8 at best, and have a life span of about two hundred days and who vomit uncontrollably 95% of their brief existence, in actuality would in no way be a liability for me in any way. Therefore my message. If I am elected president, I guarantee every inhabitant of the country will receive 2 million dollars that very day, and the free college education will also come with a job of your choosing upon your guaranteed graduation that will pay 10 million dollars per year. And just chose a job you like. If you like playing video games, make that your job, you’ll now get 10 million dollars a year to do so. I also guarantee that your life expectancy would increase by 20 years. That is, of course, if that is what you wish. If not, then free euthanasia drugs for all! And if I am president then every member of the country will become famous and gain membership into the beautiful people clique. Though, I suppose with that many members, would sort of have to change the name. So I suppose just call it, the people. Because this election is about, we, the people. I am Xavier Cockroachal Damon, and I want your vote. Thank you and God bless.