Where the fun it doth begin within the gift that so be-eth life
News And Events
The world sucks and is fucked. News always the same but forever going more to shit, regardless of what you try to do bout it. New events playing out each and every fuckin day
I Am Running For President
Song: "The Final Silence" by Unleashed-Century Media Records
My Second Presidential Campaign Commercial
Song: "What a Wonderful World" by Ministry-(Louis Armstrong Cover)-13th Planet Records
I regret to inform you, that due to poor showings in the already held primaries and caucuses and polling data suggesting similar results in every single one of the remaining states, including my home state, I have actually yet to win a single vote, and every single poll shows that will not change, to which there are those who say, “Well in your home state at least you can vote for yourself.”, to which I say, “I ain't voting for that douche.”, now though the campaign season is still young, and so help me this is a baseball game or golf tournament or some other dumbfuck sporting event that lasts like 20 freakin hours and moves at the pace of frozen molasses rather than a sprint so there is still time and anything can happen and we can turn this around, yet still, after speaking with my three advisors, Pickelroy, Hickelroy, and Hiklewikle we have decided to suspend my presidential campaign. Now some of the pundits have stated that it is quite possibly my own campaign commercials that in fact actually led to my presidential aspirations demise, but to that I state this. I stayed true to my message. And, the message and cause go on. As will I. And hopefully in time I can catch up to them because Message was actually the one driving, and Cause had all the discretionary funds and I’m running low on smokes and really need to get, um, really fuckin drunk, um, errrr. I also, in the end, stayed true to the motto of my campaign, "If you're going to end your run, end it with a motherfuckin run on sentence." Um, some have commented my campaign motto may have actually also played its part in my campaign's unavoidable cessation. In closing, for all your support, let me just say this. Adios puta madres.
I am proud to announce that I have restarted my presidential campaign that I previously had suspended. You see, it became clear to me that what has the voters so enthusiastic and is even winning over politicians themselves to the respective sides the message is coming from is merely the message itself. Therefore, my fiscal policies which would undoubtedly create an economic depression that would make the great depression cry, curled up in a fetal position, because it now realizes it is an itty, bitty worthless depression, outright nuclear holocaust that would incinerate the entire planet and an outright uprising by the populous against the government so that every facet of the government completely collapses and the stone age cries, curled up in a fetal position because it now realizes it was only an itty, bitty, tin foil age, um, this happening of course before nuclear winter forces the remaining one thousand or so of the entire earth’s human population to dwell underground, mutating because of this so that in actuality the human race ceases to exist and is thus replaced by a species of ogre like creatures whose legs protrude from the top of their heads and have IQ’s that max out at 8 at best, and have a life span of about two hundred days and who vomit uncontrollably 95% of their brief existence, in actuality would in no way be a liability for me in any way. Therefore my message. If I am elected president, I guarantee every inhabitant of the country will receive 2 million dollars that very day, and the free college education will also come with a job of your choosing upon your guaranteed graduation that will pay 10 million dollars per year. And just chose a job you like. If you like playing video games, make that your job, you’ll now get 10 million dollars a year to do so. I also guarantee that your life expectancy would increase by 20 years. That is, of course, if that is what you wish. If not, then free euthanasia drugs for all! And if I am president then every member of the country will become famous and gain membership into the beautiful people clique. Though, I suppose with that many members, would sort of have to change the name. So I suppose just call it, the people. Because this election is about, we, the people. I am Xavier Cockroachal Damon, and I want your vote. Thank you and God bless.
My new campaign commercial for the resumed campaign to elect Xavier Cockroachal Damon president of the United States.
Song: "End of Days ((Part 1)" by Ministry-13th Planet Records
The campaign marches on...The newest presidential campaign commercial.
Song: "Bestial Burden" by Pharmakon-Sacred Bones Records
Song:"End of Days (Part 2)" by Ministry-13th Planet Records
I Am Xavier Cockroachal Damon And I Want Your Vote